Me & My Shadow

An old friend of mine has passed away suddenly, and I just wanted to say "goodbye, I wish I'd known you better, and that I wish so much that I'd kept closer with you over the years.  You are a remarkable person, and I'm sorry for not talking to you more.  Thank you for your many gifts- most of all being just your friendship." 

I've known Jeff since I was about five, and my mom loves telling people how I always used to call him "my first boyfriend" when I was little.  I went to school w/him as a little kid, played "Beep Ball" w/him as I was growing up; and was always amazed at fucking funny he could be, and how truly frigging SMART the man was.   As the years went by (and I tried harder and harder to be "cool") though, I didn't keep in very good contact with him.  And I should have.  He came to a few of my birthday parties over the years, but I never really talked to him beyond those events we were together much, & my mom kept in touch w/him every six months or so-. which si more than I ever did.  Well this morning I got the word that Jeff had suddenly passed away, and after a time of total shock, it's been like a bomb hit me.  Fortunately my mom & I were able to go to his funeral. & that funeral home was PACKED with about three to four hundred people.  Apparently Jeff was extremely spiritual, sang for his friends to make them happy, & served as a chairman on committees for disabled rights and advocacy.  And all of this was news to me.  I found out about many parts of his life I didn't know before, and I saw what an impact he made on others' lives, and just wanted to leet him know, here, in some way- if he can see this now- how much he touched mine.  Jeff Watkins had a lot of physical problems, but he was one of the smartest people I'll ever know, and one of the bravest and strongest as well.  He did a lot of amazing things, and I'm sorry I didn't know him better.  I'm so grateful to have known him in the ways I did.  He's blessed my life in more ways than I could possibly express.

Jeff, I'll miss you, and hope that wherever you are, you're happy, whole, and free.

Love Always,
Renae


PS, Here's a copy of Jeff's Obituary, from the Washington Post.  If you, or someone you know knew him, feel free to pass this on.  Because his death was so unexpectedly sudden, I imagine there are lots of people whose lives he touched, but who haven't yet heard the sad news about Jeff's passing.

( Jeff's Obit. in the Washington Post )